Even with my WD hitch the Super Springs do help. They are NOT load bearing springs when I use them, I just use them as extra support in extremely bumpy areas. I have them set to one of the more mild bracket positions so they basically keep my shocks from over compressing on bumps (I pull my trailer into the dunes at Pismo and it's not uncommon to blow the valves in your shocks from the trailer jumping around). My trailer before I had the springs would fully compress my suspension (This is with a Reese WD hitch rated for 800#) and leave no travel on the springs or shocks. Now I pair Blistein Heavy Duty shocks with my springs and they work great.
Troyer makes a good stacked-fin trans fluid cooler with an automatic thermostat controlled fan. I have one but am yet to install it because the plumbing intimidates me. I can wire stuff all day, ATF lines I'm not super confident with. The only way to help you trans temp besides what was already mentioned is a deeper trans fluid pan so the fluid has more time to "rest" before its recirculated. I've heard the transmission coolers from the V10 SuperDutys are direct bolt-ons. They're much larger but still don't have a fan, so I'd add as big of one as you can get away with.
If your trailer starts bucking your truck around like a see-saw, it could be one of a few things. If you're under-breaking the trailer, it's basically running into your truck when you stop, which shoves your a$$ end down rocks the truck around on it's suspension. If you over-break the trailer, it puts a lot of rearward tension on the hitch and when you release the breaks all that inertia is unloaded forward onto your truck. The final thing that makes them act squirrely when breaking is water in your tank. 800+# of water sloshing around, especially when going downhill, has literally pushed my truck in pulses as it sloshed as I went down a wet hill, if it weren't for ABS and 12" wide tires it coulda been bad.
There should be a brake calibration dial on your controller, the easiest way to dial it in is gradually increase the setting until the trailer stops dipping your rear end as you stop. At that point your truck and trailer are breaking at the same rare and stopping at the same time. Just remember to use Boost or a comparable setting on the freeway or it will sway under moderate to heavy breaking.
This big of a trailer is always going to be a lot to handle behind a "small" truck.
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