Funny reads..

[soutthpaw]

there are a bunch of these on the net but though it would be fun to post them here.. Plus its good to when you are

this is a Nerd one but funny
Comments made about GM By Bill Gates:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has,
we would all be driving $25 dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the
gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating:

"IF GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you have to
buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason,
and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would
cause car to shut down and refuse to start in which case you
would have to re-install the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
"Car 95" or "Car NT". But, then you would have to buy more
seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, five
times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run
on 5% of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would
be replaced by a single "General Car Default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.

9. The airbag would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of
the radio.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set
of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though
they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have
to learn drive all over again because none of the controls
would operate in the same manner as the old car.
(from whatpad.com)
13. You'd press the "Start" button to shut off the engine."
You be the judge.