For my children

ChuckD · #1 Wed, July 15th, 2009, 01:33 AM

The enevitable has come between their mom and I. Its gonna be pretty rough on them.

***Jackpine*** · #2 Wed, July 15th, 2009, 06:03 PM

Kids can be quite resilient, Chuck. Remember the old advice to make sure they know it's not their fault. But even more, make a pact with your Wife to not play any kind of "blame game" with them. It is SO easy to use children this way, to try to get them "on your side". We're going through that right now with a family member and it's just terrible. Children should not have to "take sides". It's OK for them to love both of you - equally.

You're in my thoughts.

- Jack

***88Racing*** · #3 Wed, July 15th, 2009, 06:53 PM

Thoughts and prayers sent from SD

Lars

ChuckD · #4 Thu, July 16th, 2009, 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JackandJanet

Kids can be quite resilient, Chuck. Remember the old advice to make sure they know it's not their fault. But even more, make a pact with your Wife to not play any kind of "blame game" with them. It is SO easy to use children this way, to try to get them "on your side". We're going through that right now with a family member and it's just terrible. Children should not have to "take sides". It's OK for them to love both of you - equally.

You're in my thoughts.

- Jack

Thats the problem. I am like that and her and her mother ain't. They have already been coaching them. Even with what I have filed its a very liberal vistation schedule, so they do the only thing they thaught of and had the wifes aunt run off with the kids when we were in court for the OoP this morning. This is not my first rodeo with her, she had ran off with my oldest 8 years ago and I got custody and the Center for Missing and Exploited Children had to get involved. Comes to find out that what I had filed back in 01 is still active and I have to see a certain judge. First thing in the am I am going down and filling for emergency orders. To put icing on the cake they called CPS on me cause I would give the kids a swat when they needed it and to them it was abuse. The judge we had for the OoP asked her what was wrong with spanking a child and denied her claim. I am also going to request a physiatric (sp) evaluation and for her to go to mandatory counseling. She and her mother have the philosphy that women should stay home and not do anything while the men die working. So its gonna be a long up hill battle for me due to the false alligations and coaching but there are plenty of smart people that will have to be seen that will figure that out.

BlackSTX · #5 Thu, July 16th, 2009, 03:24 PM

Sorry to hear about all that Chuck. Some people, for one reason of another have to get involved with playing the children against one side or the other. Children are smarter than they think, and in time, they often see things as they are. It's just wrong that adults have to stoop so low.
I think if they truly had the childrens well being at heart, they'd not do that, and reassure them that it in no way is it because of them and just be there to support them without taking sides.

Having gone through divorce with my parents, what meant a lot to me was that despite my dad not being there anymore, he made time to do the things that I wanted to do...even if he didn't. It showed that I mattered.

I'll certainly keep your situation in mind.

Caforddude · #6 Thu, July 16th, 2009, 07:44 PM

Been there done that in 2007. Their mom ran away with her boyfriend to MN left me raising two little ones on my own (9 & 4). It is a struggle but I tell them I love them and so does their mom.

They will sort out the truth on their own based on our actions.

I reccommend a GOOD counselor for both your kids. Best investment I ever made.

Keep your chin up. Send me a PM if ya need to talk

ChuckD · #7 Fri, July 17th, 2009, 11:22 PM

Thanks for the talk Jack.

***Jackpine*** · #8 Fri, July 17th, 2009, 11:47 PM

You're most welcome! Hang in there Brother! Things ultimately sort themselves out.

- Jack

ChuckD · #9 Tue, July 28th, 2009, 08:18 PM

Well the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children are involved now and they are assisting me. It has not been a good week and a half but at least I have all my documentation in order.

ChuckD · #10 Sun, August 2nd, 2009, 12:59 AM

I did have a problem with the PD cause they didnt want to enter into the NCIC because they said it didnt meet the criteria. I finally got a call on Friday and I asked the officer why it didnt because of the orders I got from the judge. He called me back in 10 minutes and said she is getting entered in NCIC. The NCMEC called and are going to be making flyers and contacting the PA's office to push a warrant through. Sucks its got to be this way but nothing I can do.